Unlock Your Happiness Series
Interviewing experts in their field to find out from them what makes them happy. The podcast will be multi faceted talking about their personal and professional life and the journey they have taken whilst underpinning hot they have created happiness from within.
Sharing tips, techniques and tools to help each listener Unlock Their Happiness.
Unlock Your Happiness Series
Episode 22: Katie Powsey- Success Without Guilt: Redefining Motherhood & Career Balance
What happens when an ambitious career woman becomes a mother and discovers the impossible standards society places on working mums? Katie Powsey's story of burnout, health crisis and eventual transformation offers powerful insights for women struggling to balance professional aspirations with family life.
Katie's journey began when she returned to her corporate job after maternity leave, determined to maintain her pre-motherhood work ethic while being a present parent. This impossible standard led to constant guilt– feeling she was letting colleagues down when caring for a sick child or missing precious milestones at home when focused on work. The stress eventually manifested physically as mini-strokes that she dangerously dismissed until remembering her aunt had died from a stroke at 43, leaving behind a teenager.
This wake-up call prompted Katie to prioritise her health by abandoning her career completely, only to discover this created a new problem. While physically better, she felt mentally worse without the purpose and fulfillment her professional identity provided. This revelation sparked her coaching practice "Success Without Guilt," built around a powerful truth: happiness comes not from choosing between career and motherhood but from finding sustainable ways to honor both without the crushing weight of perpetual guilt.
Katie shares how authenticity became her path forward, letting go of the polished facade of perfection and openly acknowledging her struggles. This shift from "I've got it all together" to "I'm figuring it out too" not only improved her wellbeing but created deeper connections with others facing similar challenges. She offers practical wisdom on establishing boundaries that allow full presence in each role, embracing life transitions as opportunities to create new versions of ourselves, and using journaling to reconnect with our authentic selves.
Ready to pursue success without the constant companion of guilt? Connect with Katie at kplifecoaching.co.uk and discover how aligning with your true values can transform your experience as a working mother.
Connect with Katie Here:
Jenny Williams
Consultant for Calm- Helping You Find Calm in the Chaos
Founder of The Calm Collective & The Calm Connected.Host of the Unlock Your Happiness Series Podcast. Based in Kent, London & the South East, bringing women together through meaningful conversations and soulful networking. Mum, Wife & Freelancer: I’m navigating the chaos just like you, while learning to embrace the calm along the way.
Let’s connect, collaborate & create more space for YOU.
You can find me here: www.jennywilliamsconsulting.com
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If you would like to be a guest on the podcast please go to the website and apply online.
Sending Love & Stay Happy x
Hello and welcome to Unlock your Happiness series. I'm Jenny Williams and I'm here with the lovely Katie this morning if it's still this afternoon and thank you so much for being here. So tell me about yourself, Tell me who you are and what you do.
Speaker 2:Hi Jenny. Well, thank you for having me first of all, and yes, I know what you mean. The day has rushed away. I was thinking the same. Is it still morning? No, it's not. But the most important thing, it's Friday, right? So, yes, thank you for having me. I'm Katie Pauzy from KP Life Coaching. Yeah, and my coaching membership is called Success Without Guilt, so it's pretty much what it says. On the deal, it's mainly for us mums, yeah, pursuing our success without constantly questioning are we doing enough at home? Are we doing?
Speaker 1:enough at work.
Speaker 2:And then, like, for example, yesterday I had my daughter. She will never, I will never leave this one down because I couldn't make her parent-teacher evening. So it's those kind of things, you know, when we're in quite a few plates and we kind of perfected the guilt yes, we're very easy.
Speaker 1:It's very easy thing giving us guilt, isn't it?
Speaker 2:we uh like that one yes, I don't know about you, but, um, I did feel guilty before I had children, of course, but since becoming a mom, it's just taken at a whole new level. You know, it's just like I've become an absolute master at feeling guilty, and I think that's the thing.
Speaker 1:If you can um work with that in regards to the success of of without feeling the guilt, you can become aware of it, and then you can stop it in its tracks instead of allowing it to become a ripple effect almost, isn't it?
Speaker 2:um, absolutely, and it's um that, with guilt, is it's a bit like anything else. It's not to say it's good, it's bad, it's very thing. Everything is about the right kind of balance so I I believe that a good amount of guilt and a small amount of guilt is actually good. Yeah, I use it personally as my kind of moral compass, if you like so if I feel start feeling a bit guilty. I know that potentially I'm out of sync with one of my core values.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it just brings me back a little bit. It's a really good way to look at it, really good way, yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's just being mindful and being a bit careful so we don't end up living in it and embracing it a little bit too much, and it's so easy to sit in it, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Yes? And then we end up being stuck in that vicious circle of you know when we get to the point where we actually start feeling guilty for the fact that we're feeling guilty, Because why not add a bit more guilt onto that Exactly? So tell me about you. So how have you got to this stage of KP Life coaching and tell me your journey. I personally know a little bit, but I don't know it all.
Speaker 2:So tell me all about it, thank you. So I'll do my best to keep it short. I do love a talk.
Speaker 1:You can do it as long as possible. So I've said to people you can go as far as childhood. You can do literally in the last couple of years, whatever you want to feel comfortable with talking about.
Speaker 2:Oh, amazing. So I've got a few years on the clock, so I probably won't get back all the way back to the childhood, yeah, um, but I'd say my journey really started, um, really after becoming a mum, because this is the whole thing with guilt and everything else, because I am quite ambitious and, uh, I do love working and I am a bit of a workaholic. Um, I don't tend to hide it anymore. I used to get offended by it, so life was great. And then I had my first child and it was amazing. I was on maternity leave and I was living in my little bubble enjoying being a mum. And then maternity leave finished and I went back to the corporate world. The time this was pre-covid, so there was no such thing as flexi hours. Yeah, um, and that's when it was like, right, okay, nobody told me. How am I supposed to combine these two together?
Speaker 2:yeah, I had the same thing, yeah and that was a complete and utter shock. Um, I continued working the same way as I did before I became a mum, expecting that you know, I just could keep doing it. All. Right, I can just do it way as I did before I became a mum, expecting that you know I just could keep doing it.
Speaker 1:You could just do it all.
Speaker 2:Right, I can just do it all and I'll just keep doing what I was doing. And yeah, and then, of course, naturally I started then feeling guilty, because when I, for example, needed to go and pick up Josh from school and from nursery because he was sick, yeah.
Speaker 2:I felt really guilty, thinking, oh gosh, I'm letting people at work down, I've got to take a day off. And when I was at work and sometimes I had to work weekends because I was an estate agent, so that's how we first met and so it was quite normal thing to work on Saturdays. And so it was then the feeling of guilt, because I remember one day I was sitting in the office and Joshua's dad, my ex-husband, sent me a video of him learning how to ride a bike without stabilizers, yeah, and now it was that kind of feeling super proud, but at the same time I burst in the open office, I burst into tears because I felt like I should have been there, yeah, so I was fighting against that a lot and I still kept going which a lot of women do, don't they, I think a lot of women kind of go, oh well, I'll just have to juggle them both.
Speaker 1:And then they feel this constant dread of like what if I miss this? But what? If I'm letting that person down it's that worrying of letting people down, isn't it?
Speaker 2:it's that I'll constantly, oh, they're gonna what they're gonna think of me? I'm letting them down, which is a whole other story, because that comes under the mask of people pleaser. But yeah, um, so I still carried on, um, and then I became pregnant with our second child, little Ellie. I'll say little, she's not little anymore and that's when it became a real challenge, because I can imagine, yeah, with one. Yes, it was kind of, I was struggling, but I was getting through with the second baby. I just feel like, wow, this is like I've now really been thrown in a deep end. I'm not too sure how I'm going to do this and um, the whole anxiety and everything on all the worries, um, taking it still on my physical health mental health as well, of course, I've suffered with.
Speaker 2:I had to take some time off through depression and anxiety, but then also it started manifesting itself physically, to the point where I started suffering with mini strokes. So I was completely burnt out. Yes, and the scary part was that I continued like that for another two years. Oh God, for two years I was brushing it under the carpet saying to myself, well, it's just a mini stroke, it's not a big deal, it's just like a fancy migraine, and it was all okay after a couple of hours. And it was just one morning when you was ignoring your body, weren't you?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, I was just like, oh, it's okay, you know I can deal with this, this is fine. Again the superhero kind of yeah, complex, yeah, yes. And it just hit me One thing I totally forgot. Somehow my memory decided to suppress, or my brain decided to suppress this memory of my auntie actually died at the age of 43 of stroke. This memory of my auntie actually died at the age of 43 of stroke. My cousin was 15 years old. I remember it, but for some reason I totally forgot that bit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it was that one morning when I had another one of my episodes, and then all of a sudden it hit me and I thought that could be me if I don't deal with this. So that's when the whole I need to find a way to start looking after myself. Yeah, um, but then I went the other extreme. So I've then decided to completely give up my career, thinking that would be the answer. Um, and I felt. Physically I felt better, I started looking after myself um, exercising, eating, right, and you know. But mentally I actually felt worse because I've lost. I felt like I've lost the biggest part of me, which was the career, the kind of the purpose and the passion, and that yeah because I love being mum.
Speaker 2:I absolutely love being mum. For me personally, I still want more from life. So you know, there are mums who are 100% fulfilled just by being mums and it's absolutely amazing and I admire them. For me to be fulfilled, I need something your own.
Speaker 2:Something that's yes, that kind of that drive and as well as being mum. So I then thought, okay, well, that didn't work Working too much, obviously, but then giving it all up didn't work, yeah, so I then started looking at ways how do I make it work? So I get to be the mum, I get to pursue my career, I actually get to look after myself too, yeah, so it was those three areas of life that I just wanted to be in control of a little bit more. Yeah, and that's what started the whole coaching and personal development. And the funny thing is I was at the time I had a little side hustle business promoting health and weight loss products.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was quite present on social media at the time and my cousin messaged me. She said oh, katie, you should be a life coach. You're like, really inspiring and, you know, really motivational. Yeah, I had to Google what life coach was. I actually at that time I didn't have a clue what life coach was, and that's what started it all. I read up on it, I looked into it a bit more. I was like oh my God, this is me, this is what I want, this is like. I was reading it, I was like they're talking about me, so, and that was it. I've never looked back since. So it's been a journey, but I don't know about you. But I believe that anything that happens, everything that happens in our life, does happen for a reason oh, 100%.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I always. My kind of two mottos are pretty much everything happens for a reason and it was all happening as it should. So when things you kind of go oh I wish I knew this then or I wish I was in a position now. It's all happening as it should happen. Yes, and you've got to trust that it's gonna happen exactly as it should, and then you believe the universe will have your back.
Speaker 1:You know that type of thing instead of being like forcing something to happen and I've learned from that mistake myself is like when you're forcing something, one it doesn't feel authentic. And is like when you're forcing something, one it doesn't feel authentic and two, you're forcing something that's not meant to take place anyway.
Speaker 2:Yes, and I 100% agree because if we knew then what we know now, we still might not have been ready or we wouldn't have worked in the same way because we haven't experienced certain things that we needed to experience to actually make that happen or for it to happen the way it needs to happen, kind of thing, and your story is what helps people relate to you.
Speaker 1:So if you hadn't have gone through those hurdles and that journey, you wouldn't have been able to talk about it, whereas people could now go oh, that is me. I relate to that because that's what's happening to me and I need you to help me get out of this kind of thing and it's it's crazy, isn't it?
Speaker 2:because once you kind of start, I was very kind of the person. I've got it all together right.
Speaker 2:I've got it all figured out and on the outside, because I didn't want it's that fear of judgment. I didn't want people to think, oh, she's a terrible mom, she doesn't really know what, you know, all these kind of things yeah, but the moment, like you said, the authenticity, the moment I've kind of started speaking up and actually shared how, uh put my hand up and I said I actually am really struggling with this. Yeah, um, that's when the transformation happened, because people relate to it, rather than, uh, me showing up every day as this hundred percent I've got everything together, and then coming home and dropping the bags and waiting for kids to go to sleep so I can full-on cry and, um, you know, so it's, it's, it's just completely different energy now and it's, yeah, being able to express it and the family benefits from that, I think, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Sometimes, I think we, going back to that guilt thing is almost like, when you work on yourself, you feel like you're not then putting them first. Yeah, but actually if you put yourself first, they become better for that, because you're the best version of yourself, so you can be the best mum to them yes, whereas when you're like, oh, I need to do this for the kids, or I need to do this for my husband, or whatever's going on, you then leave yourself lost and actually you're depleted, which means you're then not serving them actually as well as you could. So it's that reverse mindset of, actually, when I look after me, everyone else looks after me. Absolutely, it's a better version of me.
Speaker 2:And do you know that? That's the old saying that you know blokes when they have a chit-chat down in the pub and having their pint and they make jokes like oh, happy wife, happy life. Yeah, but actually it is very true.
Speaker 2:And it's not in a sense just wife, but mom and you know. So if we are happy, then generally we, the energy we give out, how we show up every day, is completely different. And yeah, and again going back to when I was overworked and too busy, I wasn't particularly looking back, I didn't like the person I was and I certainly didn't think I was the best mom that I could be, because I was snappy, I was very short-fused and the energy levels you know were so, yes, I had, um, I had great job and money in a bank and you know, we, we got a nice house and, yeah, had holidays.
Speaker 2:But when I was on holidays and when we went on holiday, I was just by that point, I was just so exhausted that I, the holiday would go by and I was an autopilot. So I was like, well, yeah, yeah, so I wasn't present, I wasn't able to actually enjoy those moments. And that's when I learned that it's not unnecessarily the quantity, but it's the quality. So now, even though I do have weeks where I have to work a little bit longer, um, I don't feel guilty about it anymore because I've found ways how I can have those boundaries. So when I am with my family, I'm fully present there. When I'm at work, I'm fully present at work, so it doesn't cross over. Yeah, too often, you know it still happens.
Speaker 2:You know it's life yeah it still happens to degree, but I just don't feel guilty about it anymore because, like you said, it's reframing it and shifting that mindset. Like how is this benefiting my family and me? Being the best version of me is 100% benefiting everybody around me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it has such an impact, doesn't it? I think that's the thing is when you start that journey of working on yourself or trying to build that awareness of change, it becomes a ripple effect. And then you advance and you grow and your journey becomes more about what more can you explore and what more can you learn and what more can you make more friends and all that type of stuff, and you create this attraction of your aura completely changes, and sometimes it can be that difficult kind of change of when you do start working on yourself, one some people don't like it.
Speaker 1:Two, you start to get the critique of the person that doesn't want you to change and stuff, but actually on the other side is you're getting people coming towards you, that kind of like g and you on, and wanting you to grow and helping you along the way and holding your hand. And there's a, there's a magical group of people that naturally start to surround you when you start working on yourself, because you find the people that you want to attract and want to become, don't you?
Speaker 2:and that's. That's the thing. And it's like you said earlier about, uh, pushing things um, when perhaps it's not the right time. And this is the thing is this happens all very naturally, doesn't it that you probably don't even notice or realize until one day you wake up in the morning and you see yourself surrounded by completely different people and different energy in a room and everything else.
Speaker 2:And yeah, that is one thing that I have definitely noticed is that the support is just when you surround yourself with the right kind of people, the support is just absolutely incredible.
Speaker 2:And I still get to this day.
Speaker 2:I get mind blown how people would literally come and offer you help and support in ways you would never expect, and for people that you probably you know sometimes it could be someone that you just met last week or you know that, people you would never expect that from and they, they just complete another, cheerleaders and help you and support you and it's, it's so great and it really did help me, uh, move forward in terms of being able to actually ask for the help, because that is another thing as well, which I think many of us struggle with is actually, in the first place, admit that we do actually need that help and support and ask for it because, again, you know, it was just a kind of because they'll think that I'm, you know, I'm useless and all this kind of all those stories, whatever it is that we've got going on behind, and it it's now as simple as well.
Speaker 2:I'm going to ask for help and they either say yes or they say no. They say yes, great, if no, move on, kind of. You know, that's all there is to it, really, isn't it? And that is the thing, isn't?
Speaker 1:it. I think, as women, we are good at chatting.
Speaker 2:We love a chat, we love talking.
Speaker 1:We're at chatting like we love a chat, we love talking, we're very happy to talk about our feelings, but what we're not very good at is admitting that we need help. Or and sometimes I think help seems like a really like desperation word, like, oh, I need help, but actually you just need some guidance, don't you? You just need someone to hold your hand with you. And if, if someone just said I just need someone to hold my hand for a little bit, it feels completely different to kind of going I really need help. It's a different.
Speaker 1:It feels different even just saying it let alone people admitting to it, and it's just the sooner people can kind of go. I just need someone to hold my hand or someone to just push me a little bit along the line. I'd really appreciate that, and then people would probably embrace it more, wouldn't they? They'd embrace this help because they're just like oh well, they're not helping me, they're just guiding me or supporting or holding my hand or whatever feels good.
Speaker 2:And it's almost contradicting, isn't it? Because by the fact that we are actually able to ask for that support or the guidance, that is actually really powerful, 100%. So that definitely is that difference between a victim and a I don't want to say hero, because it's going to sound like a but definitely someone who is really powerful and fully in control. Because when we do keep ourselves to ourselves and very much bottle everything in and pretend to the outside world that everything's okay, that's when we, without realising it, we are actually boxing ourselves in that victim mode, because deep down we kind of think oh, I've got to do with this on my own and all this kind of you know, and there's no power in that, there's no control in that, there's just this almost sadness, really, and that constant mask of hiding behind certain persona. Yeah, and yeah, it's just a relief of when you're actually able to take that mask off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just be you, isn't it? Just be you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the messy, unapologetically. You, in whichever shape or form, you come, you know, whilst working of that isn't there, yeah there's more people doing that, becoming more authentically them and feeling comfortable with it.
Speaker 1:but it is a journey to get there, isn't it? Because society from a childhood is creating you to be a certain way or a certain person, or conform in a certain way. So you'll learn all these behaviors and then all of a sudden you're like, oh okay, now I've got to be authentically me. How does that work? So it's unwinding all of that programming to be like it's okay to not want to do something and it's okay to not do what you should do, isn't it? It's trying to get into those awareness methods of do I want to do that? No, I don't. But I don't have to be rude and say no, I don't want to go.
Speaker 2:You just kind of go, I'm all right, thanks, yeah, that's all right. And it's funny because sometimes, well, I don't know if it's funny probably not the best word for it but when we talk about the authenticity, quite often I find through our private coaching sessions that we actually struggle with the authenticity because, exactly like you said, for so many years we've been told that we should act a certain way, we should look a certain way, we should speak a certain way and all these kind of things. So when someone asks you what makes you you, a lot of people actually struggle to answer that and it actually takes quite a bit of time to rediscover who we truly are, because it's been pushed down under all these layers for so long. Then even that in itself is quite it's quite a challenge and it does take time to actually figure out actually who am I, what do I like?
Speaker 1:and I bet you have clients come to you and go I just want to be me, yeah, and then they, and then you go, well, what does me look like? And they go, I don't know. Yeah, and it's a whole level of discovery, isn't it? And re.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not reinvent. Well, it is reinventing themselves, but I think a lot of the time, we sit in the previous versions of ourselves instead of allowing the previous versions to go and create a new version of ourselves, and I think that's another kind of great way of looking at it. In regards to how many times people go oh, when I was 20 if only I was back then or even when health crises happen, right when I obviously done the copper track stuff a lot of people. I just want to be what my pre-cancer self was like, but you can't change what's happened to you. So, instead of trying to be the person that you was, how about what? Looking at what you want to become and take all the stuff that you didn't like out from the previous version?
Speaker 1:of you and become this new version, so you see it as a bit of a blank canvas so you can create a new version instead of going. I wish I was like how I was, like I think when you become a mum, that's definitely something that you go. You have this, this transition of same with you, like I'm a career person, I've then had a baby. Okay, so I'm a mother and a career person, I can do both. And then you go oh, actually, no, I can't be both. I just want to be like my old self. But actually you're never going to be your old self. So stop looking back to where it was. We need to go right. What does my new self look like? Yeah, my new self looks like this, and sometimes we can't articulate it because we need to go on the journey to work out what we are. But that's all right, because we're just creating a new version which is exciting, right, but daunting, yes, and it's I think it's.
Speaker 2:It's that part of us letting go, isn't it? It's that, it's that we can occasionally struggle, um, with the letting go of the version that we so got used to and we know, and things were working great, yeah, and it's that kind of like, well, why can't I make it work anymore? And this is the thing, isn't it? It's life, life. Life throws curveballs, life makes changes, life do the. You know the things. Life is life in general and it is all about adapting. And, like you said, it's actually very exciting that we in that transition and we're stepping into the new and different era where, yes, we're letting go of certain things, um, that we were able to do when we were younger, or pre-children, or pre-cancer or whatever that may be, yeah, but it's understanding that this is a new chapter that we're stepping into that has going to come with its own different challenges as well yeah, we forget all those challenges we had when we was 20s or 30s or whatever it is.
Speaker 1:We kind of we only see it in rose tinted glasses, how it used to be, but actually we was in our own dramas at that point, absolutely and, like you said, it's just for us.
Speaker 2:We have got the opportunity to pick and choose what we want to take with us into the next level. Um, so, yeah, it's, it's. It's kind of instead of so worried about what are we letting go of, what are we giving up is the excitement of what are we going to gain. Instead, you know what's the next stage. And, um, being mum, I do relate lots of things to, to children and motherhood, but it's the same with children or for a lot of people you know pet mums, pet mummies and dog mummies it's the same. It's like you know, when you've got them in that cute puppy stage or in the newborn stage. And there's so many times when I kind of look back, and especially good old Facebook, when the memories pop up when they were all really cute and sweet and didn't fight between each other and all that stuff, and you remember when you'd sit down on a sofa and they were just so tiny that they could just lay on your chest.
Speaker 2:And you just think oh, my God, I so miss that. But then now is the excitement of they're stepping into the new era. So Joshua is going to be 15 next month, which I still can't believe, and he's like mini adult. So we're now talking about colleges, we're talking about apprenticeships, we're talking about his future, which is so super exciting. So, as much as I miss him being a baby and being the kind of wanting hugs and cuddles from his mummy, to now being no mum, it's cool, you're right.
Speaker 1:What's happened to my baby?
Speaker 2:We're in public. I'll give you a hug when we get home. Yeah, yeah, um, yeah, so it's exciting. So, and this is different, this is exactly the same with everything we do, whether it's work, whether it's our personal development and growth. So, yes, we are leaving certain parts of our life behind, or our personality, yeah, but, like you said, we're growing into somebody different and somebody's so much more exciting that we get to use that life experience from, from those younger years yeah, we get the wisdom exactly.
Speaker 2:I think this is. This is a cool, actually, you know, when people do say your life begins at 40 and, to be fair, your life begins whenever you choose for it to begin to be honest with you. Yeah, it's no age on it is there yeah but you certainly do have got that experience and the journey and certain things behind you that will give you the ammunition to perhaps, when you're moving forward, to look at things slightly differently and help you see things from a different perspective. 100%, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:So what do you do to unlock your happiness? So what's the things that bring you happiness?
Speaker 2:so for me, I am oh gosh, I am uh. Well, I love talking for starters. Oh, actually, in coaching there's probably it's it's. This is why I love talking, because in coaching it's it's about the other person, so I they get the space. So when I come out of coaching session I feel like I need to catch up and get more words in um, but um, it's being outdoors. I just love um doing being outdoors, um, whether it's at the seafront, near water, or whether it's up in the mountains, but as long as it's outside fresh air, preferably sunshine. Yeah, um long as it's outside fresh air, preferably sunshine, absolutely. And I love the fact that this week we were actually able to ditch jumpers and ditch thick coats because I'm sick and tired of them.
Speaker 1:It makes such a difference doesn't it?
Speaker 2:And it was just like I felt like, oh my God, I can breathe, this is lovely.
Speaker 1:I feel like even as a human, now I'm like, I can feel my body changing from the spring coming. Does that make sense? Before I'd just almost not take much notice. It would just be part of the change of seasons. I'm now like feeling like my business is like a season. I haven't done a podcast since probably winter. I feel like I've come out and I'm like, oh, I'm doing podcasts again and the spring's happening. I've got all this energy and buzziness and then, as soon as winter comes, I'm like, oh, what a state.
Speaker 2:I do a lot.
Speaker 1:I'm not talking to people and it's almost like, the more you start to realise that as well, it's like it's okay to hibernate for a little bit and then come back out and blossom like all the nature does.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, you know, I'm sure there's a. There's a pretty good reason why bears hibernate for however many months before they reappear, so why not ask, right? But it's yeah. So I love outdoors and definitely family, of course. You know, I absolutely love spending time with kiddos and especially now as they're getting older, I really do value every moment that we get to spend together, and sometimes it's just as silly as playing on the Wii game. Nintendo Switch and racing cars and things like that. You know, it's not always the fancy stuff I do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not always the stuff that costs lots of money, no, and this is the thing.
Speaker 2:Is that one thing I have learned? It doesn't actually have to cost money. It's nice to be able to do those things every now and then yeah, of course. It's not the be-all and end-all.
Speaker 1:It's the time, isn't it?
Speaker 2:It really is the time and the giggles, yeah. So kids and outdoors, and preferably, if I can combine the two, even though it's becoming more and more tricky with the older ones so you've got a 15-year-old boy.
Speaker 2:And how old's your girl? So she's eight, and we're a blended family. So I've got stepson Alex, who's 18, and then we've got Josh, who will be 20 in July, and Rhys, who's 24, and he's just became a daddy in December, december, december, yes, so we've got a little grandson, reggie. He's absolutely gorgeous. So we do I do get to enjoy the cuddles and the baby stage again and give them back as well and give them back when the nappy starts to beat.
Speaker 1:Now you understand when the grandparents were like, oh, it's so nice, but you can give them back it's brilliant, yes, and you can totally and utterly spoil them and then the parents can deal with the consequences. Yeah, the good fun bit, you can do all the fun bit, which is nice?
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely so. We do our best to get them included into our walks and when we go outdoors, but it's becoming more and more challenging because they want to get on and do their own society.
Speaker 1:They've got their own society, community and kind of social network now, haven't they? Yeah?
Speaker 2:But at the same time, I actually love the fact that they've all become, apart from Ellie, of course. But the boys, they've all become very independent and they're out there doing their own thing. Because when I look back when I was their age, from what I can, remember. I wanted to be treated like an independent person. I didn't want to be treated like a child and I wanted to be able to do my own things. So I think it's again. It's that letting go, isn't it. It hurts, but it's the right thing to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, absolutely so we're. Luckily, like I said, we've still got Ellie, so we've still got. I'm counting on the fact that we've got a few more years before she starts spreading her wings as well, and that's a lovely age, isn't it?
Speaker 1:Like Isabel's seven. Yes so they're very. It's a really lovely age. I'm really enjoying this age, although they've got some demands and sassiness and independence, but it's just a nice age where you can almost be best friends. Yes, you're not uncool yet, no, but you can also do things together. No, you're like I'm winning on these ones now. Yes, and they can um, they, they do.
Speaker 2:They become like partners really, don't they? Because I had, oh my god, she come up to me in the office the other day and she, she comes up with some real crackers and I'm pretty sure that israel does too, but they I had um.
Speaker 2:so last year, when we did the women in business big show, I, I, I had an offer for um ladies, that who came to attend, to offer a free coaching session. And what I didn't realise, that board was still sitting at home in my office. And Ellie walks in the other day and she just goes, mum, I was like what's up? She said do you know what? I'm not surprised your business is not doing as well as you wanted to, because if you're doing everything for free and I'm just looking and thinking, what are you going on about? She said, well, you're giving coaching for free. And I just looked on the board in the corner. I was like, oh my God, I didn't even know that was still there, you know, but it's just, they take it all in, yes, they do. So I said, well, thanks, just that kind of observation, wasn't it? Um, yeah, uh, because you know, you see and hear everything, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:and um, because the business is still quite new, of course, um, she probably would have overheard conversations, um, where you know, um, we all start somewhere oh so um, going from from being employed my whole life and having the comfort of coming in regular wages, coming in each month, knowing exactly when it's coming and exactly how much it's coming as well.
Speaker 1:There's a transition there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's challenging, but I am absolutely loving it. Obviously, my kids think differently at the moment.
Speaker 1:Should we be going into school telling them all?
Speaker 2:Yeah, mum's giving out free coaching. Well, I'll probably get her to do my accounts, because she might yeah, you won't have to pay any tax for that. So it's yeah. So she is like my little business partner and she gets involved with I don't know about you, but social media is a minefield for me anyway.
Speaker 1:And they love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she's just like she'll take over. I was like, yeah, great, crack on girl, All I have to do is I pick up my phone and I was just like, yeah, these photos and videos, what's this? And then I was like, oh yeah, about 20,000 of the same thing, or them dancing in front of you or in an outfit.
Speaker 1:It's very random.
Speaker 2:Yes. So if anybody asks, do you have enough for the content, I was like, well, can I use that please?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just use the kid dancing, although that does get the most traction I always find whenever. I put the kids on or the dogs on. I put the kids on or the dogs on. Everyone's again relatable to that, or they find it funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because you've spent ages and this goes back to the authenticity, right you know you spend ages creating that perfect, polished post that you think it's going to give this really good value, really good content and it's going to come across, you know, professional but still very relatable, and it gets like zero. And then, yeah, you stick Ellie's kind of video downs on TikTok on there and then all of a sudden, within a couple of hours it's got like 900 views and I'm like, oh, OK, made the wrong game, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what would you suggest to the listeners, like one top tip, especially from your coaching hat? What would be one top tip that they could take away, that they could unlock their happiness with?
Speaker 2:For me personally, and the happiness always have to start within. So it is going back to really reconnecting with who we are, what's important to us, what we stand for, so understanding our values, um, and then embrace it, because that's, that's where the the happiness, because then it releases all the pressure of worrying about what people say, what people think, what you know, the judgment, the acceptance or whatever approval, um, because once we are very clear on on things, it's quite nice to be able to unlock it, and then it just, yeah, it's the best way to describe it.
Speaker 2:It's like, literally just. You feel like this huge weight that you've been carrying around for all these years is just lifted and, like you said, you're not being rude about it, you're not. You know, you're not putting anybody down or you're just simply embracing. Well, this is me. And yes, please, or no, thank you, yeah yeah, yeah, you know, and it's yeah, so that would be my one advice.
Speaker 1:So some of the listeners might be like, okay, how do I do that? How do I then go? What do I want or what do I like? Like, what would you suggest them do? Should they write some bits down, or should they maybe just go with their gut, feel or overthink it, or what would be your best tip?
Speaker 2:Oh, definitely not overthinking. I think that's the one we're really good at, isn't it? We do tend to overthink and procrastinate, absolutely. Yes, I'm a big, big advocate for writing things down and journaling. Um, absolutely, and because it does bring awareness a little bit and it helps us understand. So if we perhaps a little bit unclear and we are a bit lost in the in the whole chaos of the life, um, sometimes just writing down a few things on a daily basis and then reading back through it, it kind of makes it stand out a little bit so we could find and rediscover lots of things that way, and if people want to be very intentional on finding out these things about themselves is what I would recommend is um and this.
Speaker 2:This is, in part of um, the one of the online courses as well that we have within. Success Without Guilt is there's an assignment, if you like, on the authenticity, and there's a couple of questions like, for example, have a look at situations and scenarios that are quite recent where you really felt like you were being yourself where you really felt happy and genuinely, you felt like you could be yourself.
Speaker 2:But also have a look at scenarios where you felt felt, um, happy and genuinely, you felt like you could be yourself. But also have a look at the scenarios that you've where you felt really, really disconnected, where you felt like really uncomfortable well, probably uncomfortable isn't the right word because uncomfortable. Sometimes it's important to feel uncomfortable to grow, but um, it's more when we do things just to tick the right boxes, right right, rather than do things because we want them.
Speaker 1:It's the shoulds and the wants, isn't it Exactly?
Speaker 2:So yeah, those two things. Have a look at moments recently that you've experienced, that you felt like, oh, full of joy.
Speaker 1:Full of joy.
Speaker 2:yes, and then also have a look at those moments and start digging a bit deeper and go from those. But journaling 100%. I journal every single day.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a great habit to have, isn't it? Yeah, for sure, well, thank you so much for the conversation. We've literally smashed out this time, and it's gone so quick already. We're nearly 40 minutes in oh wow, so where can people find you? What have you got going on?
Speaker 2:Tell us about it.
Speaker 1:So website on. Tell us about it, so um website they can check out the website, which is www.
Speaker 2:I always have to remember yes, kplifecoachingcouk.
Speaker 1:or my instagram page, which is kp underscore life, underscore coaching and we'll put it all in the notes section so people can click on through and and get in contact with you. But have you got any kind of events going on or your coaching sessions?
Speaker 2:the Success Without.
Speaker 1:Guilt. Yes, so I've got a couple of things going on.
Speaker 2:So we've got the Success Without Guilt membership. The online course is having a full on relaunch and revamp, and it's going to happen in the next couple of weeks. So for anybody who wants to jump on early, I've still got an offer going on for, which is £37 per month for the membership, because once it's relaunched the price is going to be going up. So for anybody who's been interested, then just reach out to me. There's details on the website how to reach out to me. And other than that, I think we've got one planned for in August, which is the Women in Business Big Show. Yeah, I'll be there as well and I look forward to seeing you there. Yeah, and other than that, yeah, I think, on websites, I do regular workshops. So just keeping our websites, because I do quite often I tend to do a 90 day workshop Challenges and stuff and challenges that people can sign up for free just to kind of get them the kickstart and help.
Speaker 2:So yeah, just check out the website and they should be able to see all that on there.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much for your time and for all of your top tips, and it's been brilliant to listen to you. I love, love, love, love having these conversations because it always goes a bit deeper. But that, love, love, love having these conversations because it always goes a bit deeper. But that's what I like it just. It's informal chat and comfortable conversation instead of kind of formalized, structured awkwardness.
Speaker 1:I love it um, so thank you so much for being here, katie, thank you so much for listening. We really appreciate you being here. And, um, yeah, have a wonderful week and send in love and stay happy. Thank you for having me. You are very welcome.