Unlock Your Happiness Series
Interviewing experts in their field to find out from them what makes them happy. The podcast will be multi faceted talking about their personal and professional life and the journey they have taken whilst underpinning hot they have created happiness from within.
Sharing tips, techniques and tools to help each listener Unlock Their Happiness.
Unlock Your Happiness Series
Episode 18: From Human Doing to Human Being: Prioritising Presence & Finding Fulfillment
Ever felt like life was a never-ending checklist, leaving no room to simply breathe and be?
Join me as I share personal insights and practical strategies on transforming from a relentless "human doing" to a mindful "human being."
Discover how prioritising presence over productivity can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. We'll explore the societal pressures that push us to constantly multitask and how to effectively prioritise tasks so we aren't overwhelmed by our responsibilities.
Expect to learn how to incorporate simple yet powerful techniques, like effective use of to-do lists and setting daily routines, to help you manage your responsibilities while remaining anchored in the present.
We'll challenge the norms that often place others' needs above our own happiness and presence and discuss the profound impact our actions have on future generations, especially through parenting.
Imagine experiencing a concert without the pull of your phone or finding joy in your work rather than just clocking hours.
This episode is an invitation to slow down, set boundaries, and align your life with activities that resonate with your true self.
Whether it's rediscovering the joy in your current job or finding a new path that brings you happiness, you'll leave with the inspiration to embrace life fully and consciously.
So take a moment, breathe, and let's embark on this transformative journey together.
Jenny Williams
Consultant for Calm- Helping You Find Calm in the Chaos
Founder of The Calm Collective & The Calm Connected.Host of the Unlock Your Happiness Series Podcast. Based in Kent, London & the South East, bringing women together through meaningful conversations and soulful networking. Mum, Wife & Freelancer: I’m navigating the chaos just like you, while learning to embrace the calm along the way.
Let’s connect, collaborate & create more space for YOU.
You can find me here: www.jennywilliamsconsulting.com
Instagram: @jennywilliams_consulting
LinkedIn: Jenny Williams
Facebook: Jenny Williams
If you would like to be a guest on the podcast please go to the website and apply online.
Sending Love & Stay Happy x
Hello and welcome to Unlock your Happiness series. I'm Jenny Williams and I'm here today talking to you about being not doing so. I had someone say to me the other day I think I've been in a yoga session, but I could be wrong, might be at the retreat that was at but they said you're a human, are you a human being or are you a human doing? And I was like, oh my God, I've never really thought of it like that. And that's the thing we're being programmed by society to be doers instead of being beers. Is that the right word? I don't know if it is, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like we're so busy nowadays, doing so much stuff, that we're not actually just being, and not in the moment, not present, and everything is just going on around us until sometimes something catastrophic happens and that stops us in our tracks and then it kind of makes us re-evaluate what am I doing? Am I actually meant to be doing this? And then everything changes. A lot of the time it's health relationships, career changes, things like that. Something that's quite big that happens in people's lives is when the switch comes on and people start to go oh, what am I doing? And we need to stop doing that to ourselves. We need to create our awareness and the sooner we can create the awareness, the better our lives become at an earlier age. So I'm obviously late 30s I can't believe I'm saying this late 30s now and I'm lucky. I feel lucky that I know this stuff now, not when I'm in my 50s, 60s, 70s. I'm very aware now about what I'm doing, who I'm around, what tasks I'm doing and how aligned, whether they're aligned and whether I'm being present for them. But even something as little as like last night I let the dogs out before we go to bed and I looked up at the sky and I was like Jesus, look at those stars Now. Would I have done that five years ago? Probably not. I would have just been like hurry up dogs, get in, we need to go to bed, I'm knackered. That's the different conversation between where I was and where I am and that comes from work of awareness, the work of slowing down.
Speaker 1:But when I say slowing down, I don't mean like slowing down and stopping and then just like not doing stuff. I mean just taking in the moment instead of being so busy somewhere else, I could have very easily not looked up at the stars and let my husband let the dogs out and rushed up to bed. But I've started to realise I actually enjoy that bit at the end of the day to just kind of go oh, what's going on up there today Kind of puts it in perspective, really, when you can see all these stars in the sky. So having like, are you being, or how do we become more of a human being instead of a human doing? Now we're multitaskers. As women, we multitask multiple hats, juggling multiple balls at the same time whilst changing the hats.
Speaker 1:There's a lot going on. So how do we stop? Just stop some of this stuff? There's techniques, obviously. There's like to-do lists, there's advanced planning and there's all of these kind of ways of doing it. But sometimes it's just slowing that mind down, slowing it down to just really kind of go does this really matter? I know I'll get it done.
Speaker 1:I'm one of those that kind of almost like to be under pressure to make something happen. That's normally my forte moment is when something needs to be done by tomorrow and I'll do it the night before. I love that kind of dopamine hit of that last-minute pressure, whereas if I've got two months to do it in, it will still be done the night before because it's not important right now, I need to do it by it will still be done the night before because I'll just go, it's not important right now, I need to do it by the deadline, right? Sometimes, if you can slow it down and not have so much going on in your mind, everything just starts to just go a bit more smoothly, like I find. I say it, I've said it a couple of times now on the kids drop off. So when I drop Isabel off at school, I go right, mum head off. Now, right time to put the work head on, because all the time up to 8.35, my brain's in get ready, get her ready. Has she got everything she needs for school? Is she healthy, well fed and in the school? So that's my priority.
Speaker 1:At that point, I can't think about what's happening going on at work. I can't respond to emails, I can't think about whatever, whatever else is going on in the WhatsApp groups. I just kind of go. My head is doing this right now. Then get in the car or walk back home, right. Work head on now, right. What do I need to do for today? Right, write the to-do list. What needs to be done? What do I need to make sure?
Speaker 1:I go back to what needs to be done today, because I think sometimes we have all this list of stuff and it's like what actually needs to be done by today. Then you're prioritising. You're starting to go right no matter what happens, these are the main things that need to be done. Prioritizing you're starting to go right, no matter what happens, these are the main things that need to be done. So then you're just in that moment of being the worker, the employee, the business owner, whatever it is, and then mom hat comes back on oh, who knew that time goes so fast? And it's then three o'clock and you have to go and pick them up from school. I'm allocating time to her, she goes to bed. Then I'm allocating time to the stuff that I want to do my habits, my chill-out time, my eating, whatever it is. But I'm not multiple people in multiple times. I try really consciously to wear the hats individually in time blocks than to wear all the hats all the time. So that's something that you have to keep practising with and I still have to practise now.
Speaker 1:Like none of anything, I say am I perfect in? It's a trap, don't forget. But none of it. Is it always like that? It's consistently right, but I'm not. It's not always how it should be. That's just how life is, though, but and again, the sooner you accept that it's never going to be always the same, the better you become, the more you allow it to just kind of go okay, well, it wasn't meant to be today. Like you, let it go, move on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, one of the things that I would recommend and this is what I've had to spend a bit of time on is, like there's things that need to be done, but there's other stuff that's on the list that are oh, I should do this, or I could be doing more of that, or I'm doing stuff that people don't, that I don't want to do. Yeah, if there's stuff on that list that does not bring you joy, that is not part of what's going to make you a better person or better internally, and there is no reason for you to be doing it. Take it out. You don't need it there to give you another thing to do when you've got a gazillion things already going on. Yeah, what is it that you want, what is it that you need? And it's all about you.
Speaker 1:Now, we've been taught that everything's not about you. Yeah, we've got to worry about everyone else, what everyone else is doing, how does everyone else feel? But actually it's all about you. What are you doing that's not making you be present, not be yourself, not be who you truly are? We all work on this, by the way. We all work on this because life gets in the way. Expectations change, society sends a different message. You know, we know what it's like, but what are you doing for yourself? What are you doing to just be present in that moment? Yeah, what are you doing that's going to help the ripple effect of what your child's going to do when they have kids. Have you ever thought about that?
Speaker 1:I'm really consciously aware that sometimes, when I shout which frustrates the hell out of me, by the way, because why can't they just listen the first time, but anyway, I just kind of think I say to her after I shout I don't want to shout at you. That's not how we talk, is it? We have to talk nicely to each other and be kind and all this type of stuff. I want her to be saying those types of messages to her children. I want her to be turning the news off when she's in front of her six-year-old. I want her to be going. Oh, I journal each day because it helps me feel better about myself. Oh, I'll eat well. Well, most of the time if she's not eating McDonald's, but anyway, um, she goes to bed at a good time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just like it's just being consciously aware that she sees those things, because we all replicate our parenthood, that's the thing. And then they're. Our parents replicate our parenthood, that's the thing. And then our parents replicate their parenthood. They obviously add it up a notch. Just like, the stuff that we have for our kids now is nowhere near what we had as kids, is it? I swear? We only went for a meal once a year for our birthday. Now it's like we go for a meal almost every week as if it's part of the daily, like the weekly routine, bonkers. But we all evolve over time and that ripple effect is having an impact. So just be really conscious of that. If you are doing so much, doing so much, running around so much, not being present in the moment, you'll close your eyes and wake up and there'll be 21 moving out. So just be aware of that, just really, because not only do you want to be in the moment. They want you to be in the moment, but then those moments go. So being present and being there for so much is so important.
Speaker 1:Like, how many times and I'm just as bad of going to a concert you start filming it? You're filming a concert that you're physically at but you're not watching it. You're filming it, you're watching your phone film this person that's on the stage. Like I remember, I went to see Coldplay and they literally said all phones down for one of the songs and it was amazing because they understand the fact that the music is what brings happiness to the people that are all there watching them. So if you're distracted filming, facetiming, all the rest of it you're not actually in the moment, moment, enjoying the event that's taking place. You've spent hundreds of pounds to go and see Coldplay or whoever it is, taylor Swift or whatever, and you're filming it so you can review it later on in life. But then how often do you then go back to your videos and go, oh, let's watch Taylor Swift on stage or whoever? You've been watching Coldplay, whatever. I know I filmed, filmed some stuff. I don't think I've seen it since I went. It's great to obviously go back to.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying don't do it, but actually spend more time being at the concert instead of doing something that you can do, watch later or put on Instagram to show everyone where you are. Just be conscious of that, because that will really enhance your awareness of where you are. So try to slow down. It's so easy to speed up, so slow down the speed of how everything's going. Try new things. There might be stuff on your bucket list that you want to do. Get out in nature. Enjoy the moment.
Speaker 1:If your gut tells you you want to do it, go and do it. Don't kind of go. I know my gut tells me, but no, I can't. Yeah, start saying no to the stuff that you don't want to do. Set boundaries. Set boundaries around your time and your effort and what you spend your time on.
Speaker 1:If it's not bringing you joy, don't do it. I understand sometimes work does not bring joy, but it brings the money that enhances your joy. However, I would say you can get a job that does bring you joy and you shouldn't be scared to change. If your work is shit, you should move or find something that does bring you joy. A lot of the time, if you're doing something that you love, you work harder in it, which brings you even more joy, which actually brings you even more money.
Speaker 1:So think about that and celebrate the mundane. So I spoke about it earlier. Isn't it Like the stuff that we get to do? That is just part of the mundane day to day activities school uniform, food in the fridge, healthy eating, going to the gym, all of that type of stuff. It's the mundane stuff that we do, but we get to do it. How amazing is it that we get to do it? We get to have time to do it. We get to have the ability and the agility of our bodies allowing us to do those things.
Speaker 1:Try and travel a bit more. Try and see some new things. Try, and even in your area. So I wouldn't say when I say travel, I don't mean like go to Dubai and then spend a gazillion pounds going. Go to the next town, find a little village that you can walk around, go into the town and look at the houses, because I bet you've all passed down some roads and you've never looked at the houses that are there. Go to a different pub or go to the seaside, go to the nearest creek. Just go and see something new that will spark your interest and enable you to kind of see what's going on. Sometimes, just even sit at the bench you know you can be down by the sea, or I suppose anywhere's got benches really and then you just see like the birds fly past, or you see something happening. We see some kids playing or dogs that are barking at each other, or it's just silly stuff. That's just happening and you're there witnessing it, but you're not there looking at your phone, sending an email, or sitting on the bench. You're just there seeing the clouds go past, watching the leaves blow.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is that will enable you to be grounded and centred instead of in this whirlwind of so much going on. There's so much going on is always going to be there. It's just you decide how much you get involved in it or not. And I'm not saying don't get involved in it or not. And I'm not saying don't get involved in it because I know I'm involved in it as much as anyone else. But it's actually having that conscious time away from it or consciously doing something where you put your phone down.
Speaker 1:Life is happening before our eyes, not through the handset that we're looking at everybody else's with, which leads me on to just be present and closes it off perfectly. Really Be present. The time is now, like time is happening now. So yesterday we can do nothing about, tomorrow is not guaranteed. So the time is now and is now a time that you're being or a time that you're doing. So just be you, be happy, be consciously aware and life you'll see it so differently and you'll start to embrace it, instead of being so caught up in everything that's going on around us. So, yeah, stop being no, stop doing and start being. You are a human being, not a human doing. Have a wonderful week, look after yourself. Any questions, feedback, you know I'm always here. Have a wonderful week, weekend. Whenever you're listening to this, send in love and stay happy.