Unlock Your Happiness Series
Interviewing experts in their field to find out from them what makes them happy. The podcast will be multi faceted talking about their personal and professional life and the journey they have taken whilst underpinning hot they have created happiness from within.
Sharing tips, techniques and tools to help each listener Unlock Their Happiness.
Unlock Your Happiness Series
Episode 16: Crafting Joy: Transforming Daily Routines & Embracing Self-Care
Imagine turning your everyday routines into sources of joy and happiness. I explore how small, deliberate changes in our daily habits can lead to a more fulfilling life. In this episode, you'll learn how to recognise what genuinely brings you joy and how to incorporate those activities into your lifestyle using techniques like habit stacking and the one percent factor. From reading a comforting book before bedtime to savoring a peaceful walk with your furry friend, discover how these little moments can significantly enhance your wellbeing.
Ever find yourself reaching for your phone first thing in the morning, only to be bombarded with stress-inducing messages? I share insights on minimising such distractions and why consistency in joyful habits like journaling and meditating can help you maintain a sense of calm and balance. Forget about chasing perfection; it's the consistency and the small steps we take towards personal growth that truly matter. Together, we'll explore how to build routines that nurture self-care and mental wellbeing, even amid life's chaos.
Aligning our actions with our core values can be incredibly empowering, and it's a pathway to peace and joy. This episode encourages you to shift your mindset, embracing gratitude for everyday tasks and transforming them from burdens into privileges. By prioritising selfcare and personal development, not only do we enhance our own happiness, but we also create a ripple effect of positivity that touches the lives of those around us. Let this conversation inspire you to take charge of your happiness and craft a life that reflects your passions and values.
Jenny Williams
Consultant for Calm- Helping You Find Calm in the Chaos
Founder of The Calm Collective & The Calm Connected.Host of the Unlock Your Happiness Series Podcast. Based in Kent, London & the South East, bringing women together through meaningful conversations and soulful networking. Mum, Wife & Freelancer: I’m navigating the chaos just like you, while learning to embrace the calm along the way.
Let’s connect, collaborate & create more space for YOU.
You can find me here: www.jennywilliamsconsulting.com
Instagram: @jennywilliams_consulting
LinkedIn: Jenny Williams
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If you would like to be a guest on the podcast please go to the website and apply online.
Sending Love & Stay Happy x
Hello and welcome to Unlock your Happiness series. I'm Jenny Williams and I'm here today to talk to you about habits that create happiness. So a lot of us will know that we should be doing better habits, healthier habits, and are not doing the stuff that brings us happiness. So I wanted to do a little solo episode on it to talk about how you can start to enhance your habits, start to embrace the stuff that you do that aren't necessarily things that bring you joy, but it's stuff that we get to do and things that we have to do as part of who we are and what we do. But spending that bit of time to really stop, evaluate and implement some habits as soon as possible that are time, effective, efficient, that helps you move forward, and also to just start to replenish the self-care into you, to start to build habits that bring you joy, make you happy and give you that daily self-care that we need as human beings and as women. So creating habits that bring you joy is going to be something that you almost create within your lifestyle. You'll start to do it. At first it's kind of getting used to doing it and doing it consistently and all of that type of stuff, but if it's something that brings you joy or something that you know helps with your mindset or helps with how you feel about yourself or helps make you feel like you're making progress, these habits will be part of your daily lifestyle, your daily kind of life. That takes place and, don't get me wrong, it doesn't have to be always. I think a lot of the time, as soon as we think of habits, we think, oh, it's got to be healthy eating and it's got to be running and it's got to be all of this kind of not extreme stuff, but stuff that a lot of people kind of go oh, it's all the stuff that you see on the pictures. You know that you expect it to be, but it doesn't have to always be those things, although I truly believe those things do actually help how you feel, and I implement quite a lot into my lifestyle, which I'll talk to you about in regards to my habits, but it can be just as little as reading a book before you go to bed.
Speaker 1:That's a habit that brings you joy, that you do on a daily basis, which is replenishing you. It's bringing you joy, it's making you happy. Sometimes's kind of sometimes we like to do it as part of our routine, but actually it's lovely to read a book before you go to bed. That's a lovely habit to have. To be fair, it's something that I would love to add into my habits because I'd love the idea of reading a book. I just can't seem to sit down and do it. So I have to do that 1% factor and I have to invest and start to allocate time to prioritize it. But it could be as little as just walking the dogs, but that's moving your body for once. That's a really healthy habit anyway. But it just brings you joy because you get to see the dog all wagging their tails, getting all excited, being walked around.
Speaker 1:It doesn't have to be extreme things of doing yoga and having an hour's meditation each day and I don't know, looking great, feeling great, everything looking perfect. We're not self-critical, all of that type of stuff. They're all things that over time, you can do. But finding what brings you joy and what brings you joy is different to what brings me joy. Really, that will have an impact on your happiness.
Speaker 1:So have a moment to just think about what things do I do that I enjoy doing and that brings me joy, and what things am I not doing that are stuff that I have to do. Like don't get me wrong, it feels quite nice once the sink's empty and the dishwasher's full, but it's not really something that brings me joy. It's something that is part of the day-to-day running of life, isn't it? But I get to do that. How many people are unfortunately ill or no longer here that would love to have just filled the dishwasher up one last time? You know, sometimes you have to think about things like that of I don't want to do it, but I get to do it. I get to stand here and do it and sort it out and look after my little child and stuff like that, even though sometimes it could be real pains and frustrations, because it's something you do all the time, every day, but it's something that other people would love to be able to do now.
Speaker 1:So also think about that. What am I doing that's bringing me joy or what would I like to implement that I'm not doing? That was bringing me joy that I can add into my healthy habits and my kind of daily routine? What do I get to do off your habits and my kind of daily routine? What do I get to do? Pick my child up from school in the rain, things like that. And what are the things that you could eliminate out? What are you doing? It doesn't bring you joy. It's not stuff that has to be done, but for some reason you're cramming it in.
Speaker 1:Get rid of them. First of all, you start to, if you've put them into three categories and there's anything in that third category, get rid. You don't need it. If it's there and it's not bringing you joy and it's not something that you actually want to do either or need to do. Having those habits and building them, like they call it, habit stacking, when you start to work on your different habits and then you start to get good at one, so then you start to do that plus something else, and then you start to build on top of that. You feel this progress within you and you start to then want to invest in more and you start to give yourself more self-care and you start to really decide what brings you joy and decide what happiness comes. Because once you start, that little dial change and my coach talks about the one percent factor. If you have that one percent factor change, before you know it you're everything's moving one percent forward and then, before you know it, you're doing it on a regular basis, before you know. It's just part of the things that you do. It's not even thought about that you have to do it. It's actually just part of what you do.
Speaker 1:That's when you start to create this lifestyle of habits and joy and presence and just taking it each day. You are spending a moment to be present. You're spending a day to give yourself that little bit of joy. If you are getting up, getting out of bed, rushing straight to work, looking at the emails whilst you're sitting on the toilet, uh, sorting out the child if you need to, getting in the car, rushing to work, getting pissed off that there's traffic going on, if they're getting into work, then you've got a meeting that you've not prepped for. So you're stressing and going all over the place. This is kind of I know this is normal day, right, this is what actually happens because we are such busy human beings. But there is stuff within that that you could stop yourself from feeling frustration, upset, overwhelm, today's going to be shit, all of that type of stuff that you're saying to yourself. Little habits of change are detrimental to how your stress levels are, how you feel within, to how your stress levels are how you feel within your mindset, your presence around other people. It has such a huge impact.
Speaker 1:So spend a bit of time thinking about what you could add in. Could you get up a little bit earlier, not look at your phone first thing. Breathe for a second. Doesn't have to be meditation if you don't want it to be, but I find that's very beneficial. Could you write down how you feel. Might want to journal, might just want to write down a to-do list. Get it out of your brain. What have I got to get done today? What must I not forget? That type of stuff. Could you just add those little dials in that would have an impact on your day. Could you listen to wonderful music instead of listening to the radio that's going to tell you about the crap that's going on every half hour.
Speaker 1:I even my daughter now in the car, as soon as the news comes on. If we're listening to the radio because I haven't connected my phone, she turns it off, off, and I'm so pleased that she does. I'm glad that she's created that habit already, because she doesn't want to hear it anyway. Because who wants what child that's six wants to hear that people have been dying in iran or wherever it is. Nobody needs to hear that on the radio, especially when you can't control who's listening. But she doesn't want to hear stuff that's hurt people. That's what she says to me. I don't want to hear about people that have got hurt, because normally it's either the travel or it's the news. Don't get me wrong. The music in between is brilliant because it's good, uplifting music. But even if the traffic comes on, she turns it off. Sometimes I really need to hear what's happening with the traffic, but she turns it off because she doesn't want to hear that there's been a crash or there's an accident on the A2 or whatever it is.
Speaker 1:So things like that creating these habits now also does ripple down, so be mindful of that. So if there's stuff that you are doing, like getting up, rushing around being an absolute, absolute loon, shouting to get out the door, I do shout on my door to get out the door, but, um, it's very calm until that five minutes before the door has to, we have to be at the gate, um, but just having that calmness in the mornings and the flow and the just that little bit of time for yourself, of grounding before chaos, could have such an impact not just on you, but the people that are around you, that are seeing you as well, that follow me would see that I do this. The seven day reset, which is kind of a subscription service, which is literally seven days worth of emails telling you about different habits and how you can stack them and how you can implement them within about probably take about half hour of your day, and for me, I don't have enough, almost don't have enough time in the day, like we all don't have enough time in the day, so I found short, sharp stuff that I can do that's going to help me to progress forward, make me feel a bit more centered and a bit more grounded, and you can do this too. So I do in the morning, and my daughter sees me do this as well, so she's started to see that it's part of a daily routine is I meditate for 10 minutes in the morning. Of course she wants to look at my phone as soon as she gets up, or of course she wants to have the telly on really loud, but I've got my headphones in. I'm there for 10 minutes. She's asking me if she needs to, she wants breakfast or whatever I say. Just let me finish this, then we can get the breakfast done. Yeah, so she's seeing that I'm prioritizing myself before letting all of the other distractions happen.
Speaker 1:So I do 10 minutes of guided meditation because otherwise my brain goes mental. So I have to listen to something, someone to guide me, someone to kind of remind me to think, go back to my breath, go back to my breathing, because I very quickly move on to what's happening today, what's happening tomorrow, what do I need to sort out. So, 10 minutes of meditation. I do five to 10 minutes of journaling to just get down what I'm grateful for. What am I going to do today, how am I going to help other people? Those types of things. If I've got more time, I'll write for longer periods of time as well. So I find that's really good at like, a problem shared is problem half type format Healthy breakfast or healthy eating in general.
Speaker 1:So if you can prep ahead, just so you know what you're eating, so you don't feel like you're you're picking up the stuff that you don't want to eat or you're just eating it for the sake of it being there. We're all human, we all do this. By the way, I wish I could prep every week and be super organized, but that is just not what life is. But I know what I need to do. I'm aware when I'm not doing it, and majority of the time I am. So it's about really getting the majority consistency, not perfection. I'm going to talk about that in a minute. So I've meditated, I've journaled, I've got my healthy eating sorted for the day. Hydration make sure you're topping yourself up with water. Water is so, so important. I need to drink more, but we all know how important water is.
Speaker 1:Mindset management throughout the day not letting things stress you out, listening to stuff that brings you joy and lights you up instead of the news that's going to annoy you and get you frustrated. Things like that Social media who you follow there's a whole nother piece about this type of stuff but mindset management reinforcing the right messages to yourself, staying calm, not allowing stuff to be about you, because most of the time it's not. It's all about them, or it's about them taking their attack on you, even though it's irrelevant, because whatever. So having that mindset management to be able to deal with that. And the last one for me is getting a good night's sleep, turning off your phone at a certain period of time, not looking at the blue screen.
Speaker 1:Having wind down time, I personally leave my phone downstairs because I don't need it upstairs. I've got an alarm clock now that does. That tells me my alarm. Nobody needs to not spend 10 pound on Amazon on an alarm clock in their room because the phone is a distraction. As soon as you get up you look at your phone. Alarm goes off. Oh, I've got messages. I look at it. Oh, I've got an email of someone frustrated during the night. That's messaged me Brilliant, starts my day off right in the mood.
Speaker 1:So having those things, even just those five pillars, will create this kind of movement and this dial change of starting to really think about what you're doing each day, giving you a little bit of time to focus on yourself, giving yourself a little bit of self-care before the world of craziness happens. Craziness is happening everywhere Messages, notification, whatsapp groups, school emails, meetings, actions like literally is insane the amount of stuff that we have to take on, especially with women. I'm going to do another section about the multiple hats that we have, but anyway there is a lot going on. So if you don't spend that time at the kind of bookends of your day, it could ripple into the rest of the week. And who wants a shit week? I don't think any of us do. We have them. We have emotional waves because we are hormonal women, but the more we can focus on our self-care, it allows you to nip it in the bud. It allows you to move forward with it quicker. It allows you to digest it without spending too much time thinking on it. So those would be things that, in my head, are part of my daily routine. There's other stuff that I've implemented and I'm always implementing.
Speaker 1:I think this is one thing that a lot of people think that oh, that person over there has got it all perfected. They do that all the time. They're consistent, they're good, they're this, they're that. We're all human beings. We are all people that have hurdles in the way we have, especially if you've got young children. They're creating their own carnage for you to deal with, let alone everything else that goes on in our own lives. So it's just about doing what you can as well as you can and being kind to yourself about it.
Speaker 1:Can I journal every day? No, I try to as much as I can. I try to stay as consistent as I possibly can, but it's not always physically possible, but I don't then go oh that's it, I'm not journaling anymore because I didn't do it perfectly all last week. I just try my best to be very aware that I need to keep it in my routine. If I don't, I just feel this unbalance within me Now before. So those of you that don't do anything like this already, I was the same Before. I was like I know I need to meditate, but I don't really see what benefit it's going to give me. Same with journaling. I know I should do it, Everyone's talking about it, but do I really need to do it? What's it going to? What impact is it going to have? And now, because I've done it so regularly for so many years, when I don't do it, I feel out of kilter, there's something that's not right. So that's what happens when you start to habit stack and you start to keep that consistency.
Speaker 1:You get used to this presenceness, you get used to this kind of calm that you feel from within because everything else is going on. It's always going to go on around you. It's always going to happen. Sometimes you've just got to kind of go right. I've only got to allocate 15 minutes. I can even do it in my bed if I want. I don't have to get up. I personally do, but it doesn't matter. Then get up. Instead of getting up snoozing your alarm, going back to bed, getting up snoozing your alarm, how about get up? Put some chill like meditation, music on. Get up after that. Right now, I'm ready for the day. It's just implementing these little things that are going to have this change, but without having huge impacts on your life.
Speaker 1:How many people go on diets for short period of times, expecting miracles? Miracles do not happen. Well, not things like that. Miracles do happen sometimes, but you know what I mean. If you're doing it consistently over a period of time and if it brings you joy, you're going to love doing it anyway. Don't put in any habit that you do not like doing. Same as don't do a gym class that you don't like or don't use a. What's it called like a machine if you don't like or don't use a. What's it called like a machine if you don't like it? I personally don't like all the dancing and jumping around on gym sessions. I'm not coordinated, I get frustrated with myself and it doesn't bring me joy. So what do I do? I don't book in on those classes. I do the classes that I feel bring me joy, that I enjoy doing, that I can feel progress taking place. It doesn't matter what if someone else loves doing all the dancey stuff and doesn't like doing all the pump stuff, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that you are doing something that you enjoy, that makes you feel better about yourself and that creates your progress and makes you happy and unlocks that happiness within you.
Speaker 1:So knowing that is like just keep thinking in your head when you're not listening to a podcast or whatever it is, or you forget, just go. It's just about being consistent. It's not about being perfect. None of us are perfect. Perfect is a trap. As I learned on the retreat I went to last weekend. We all have this vision of perfection and perfection is just a trap. No one can be perfect, so we need to eliminate that out of our vocabulary. If it's good enough and you've tried your best, then the best is good enough. Yeah, consistency, just keep going. But if it's not bringing you joy, don't keep going with it, because otherwise you just won't do it anyway. You've got to find that routine and those habits that are going to bring you joy.
Speaker 1:For me, I find and after doing a bit of work over the last weekend, with the retreat as well is I've realised that my core value is peace. I just like to have peace within my life. So I do things that bring me peace, not anxiety, not overwhelmed, not like this kind of a scary feeling, not this. I don't do things where I feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable for progress, yes. Uncomfortable around the people, no, yeah. So I, um, you might have friends I actually haven't got any of these friends but you might have friends that are toxic. You go and you go. She's going to slag me off, she's going to actually be rude to my face, she's going to make me feel like shit and we go to it because one we should.
Speaker 1:You should never do anything that you should be doing. You should want to go and do it, but it makes you feel uncomfortable. So you're going to the event feeling uncomfortable, which is insane. You should never go to anything where you're going to feel this kind of anxiety and overwhelm and this I'm going to have a shit time. Like I said, there's this difference between uncomfortable because it's pushing me out of my comfort zone and there's uncomfortable because they're making me anxious. We should do the stuff that we know we need to do, but it just feels uncomfortable. But we shouldn't do the stuff that we are telling ourselves we don't want to do but we're doing it anyway because we should, because my friends will slag me off or because I've said I'll go now. You know that type of stuff.
Speaker 1:So when I'm making decisions on going to do things with my friends or with my family, or if I'm looking to do stuff with Isabel, whatever I kind of go, is that going to bring me peace? Is that something I want to do? I can go to the pub with some friends and just have a wonderful time. I don't think about it after I've been there, because it's just been a nice time. We've had a wonderful time, had a giggle, gone home. If you are going to those events and then you're going, I'm going.
Speaker 1:I can't believe I said this, or what if they think about this, about me, and I'm going? I can't believe I said this, or what if they think about this, about me? Stuff in life should be easy, and easy brings peace. I think that's. I suppose what I've realised over time is that when stuff feels easy, that's the right stuff to do, and when I say easy, you don't feel like you have to be someone else. You don't feel like your values are different. You don't feel like your values are different. You don't feel like you're in the wrong place. You know that's what brings you joy. Sometimes you can have that with the, especially being a parent. Sometimes you're around people when their values or their parenting values are completely different and then you just don't align. Doesn't mean they're wrong, doesn't mean I'm wrong. It just means that we're not the same and we don't have the same values, and that's all right. So I then wouldn't put myself in a situation of doing something with them who have different values, because I know it won't feel right. So it's just being mindful of things like that. So find out what your value is, what's your value, what do you want to feel within, and then let your habits link to that. Because if it then, like me, meditating and journaling brings me peace, because I get any frustrations out on the paper, I get to centre myself. Yeah, just being mindful of that.
Speaker 1:I've already spoken about the elements of the things that we have to do. So we get to do the cleaning, or we get to change the bed. So we get to wash our children's clothes or wash our own clothes and all that type of stuff, but we get to do that. How lucky are we that we get to do something like that? Because there's people even though I don't like listening to those there is war out there where people are living in the streets and sleeping in the same clothes that they've been in for weeks. How lucky am I that I've got a fresh pair of clothes on today? Like, don't get me wrong, doing the washing does not bring me joy. It really does, and putting the clothes away is my absolute pain in my life. I even wash it, hang it out, fold it and then it takes about a year to get in the drawer. But how lucky is it that I get to do that? I've got a house, I've got warmth, I've got food All of the basics. My life is complete technically.
Speaker 1:So when we have to do the stuff that we need to do, just think I'll get to do this because there's others that don't. There's people with health issues that would love to be able to fold up their clothes and put them away. So instead of having a hatred towards it or like, oh, I've got to do this now, you just kind of go okay, it's part of what I do. I'm lucky I get to do this, don't I? I've got a bit of time to do that, so how lucky am I that I've got time. It's just that change of message to yourself that then becomes part of your daily routine, that then everything doesn't become chaos and crazy and frustrating. It just becomes calm and okay, get it done, maybe put on some music, make yourself feel better about it, and then you spend time on your healthy habits and things that are going to bring you joy.
Speaker 1:Don't forget, hobbies can be habits as well. You might have a hobby that you love to do gardening might be something I don't know, ice skating, running, whatever. Marathons, if you, or trekkers, if you, if any trekkers are listening. Hobbies are your habits because you set that into your daily routine. It's something that you love to do. It's something that you go back to all the time. It's just part of your healthy habits as well, so don't forget to add them in.
Speaker 1:Or if there's hobbies that you're not doing used to go dancing, used to love, love, dancing. Now don't do dancing. Why? What are you saying to yourself that's stopping you from doing that? Yeah, start to really think about the stuff that does bring you joy and add it in. You can add it in and um bring yourself more joy.
Speaker 1:You are in control of your joy and your happiness. You're in control of your habits. You're in control of your joy and your happiness. You're in control of your habits. You're in control of all of it. However, we let everything around us change that, or change the way we feel about that. Which leads me on to the happiness will come from committing to you. When you commit to yourself, when you implement this, that's when the happiness will come.
Speaker 1:So, what are your habits? Get a pen and paper now, after listening to this podcast. What are your habits? What do you want to do? What do you not want to do? What would you love to do that you've not added in yet? What can you implement now, like what could you do tonight or tomorrow or next week, but what can you do straight away? That will have that pivot difference. What would you like to do? What have you added in? What's the stuff that you know? Like I just said about dancing class, get on Google and start looking for that. A lady last week was talking about how she loves food. She'd love to learn how to cook different food Straight away. She's Googling what courses are out there.
Speaker 1:Add it in, get yourself in a happy state. And what's stopping you? What is stopping you from adding these habits in? I can tell you, even though you know the answer, don't you? It's only you that's stopping you from doing that.
Speaker 1:Now, a lot of the time, people go, oh yeah, but I've got all this other stuff. You don't know how busy I am. I get it. I get it that almost adding something in is just another thing to add on. But I promise you, when you work on yourself, everything around you starts to work better as well. You're not adding something in and it's just another thing to do. You're adding something in so everything else gets better. It's so worth it.
Speaker 1:And I promise you, if you just allocate that time, if you start focusing on your habits and your happiness, you become a happy person. You then become a happy mum, the children become happy, your relationship changes and you have this happy life that you have almost lost along the way, because expectations, because of shoulds, because of what the world tells us we should be, what everyone's opinions tells us we should be. But all that matters is you, you, your habits, your priorities, how you are looking after you, because if you're not looking after yourself, no one else is looking after you either. Yeah, and it's vice versa. You work on yourself. Everyone else will work on themselves too. They'll see it, they'll mimic it, they'll start to understand that that's how life is and that's what happens. So start working on you, start looking at your habits and start creating your own happiness.
Speaker 1:Hopefully you've enjoyed this podcast as much as I've got on my little pedestal to talk about it. I thought it was going to be a short one, but you've managed to get half an hour out of me. Have a wonderful week. I really hope the podcast has brought a little bit of value to you that you can start to implement. And don't forget, send in love and stay happy.